Sometimes life throws you a curveball. Last weekend I got
back from a friend’s wedding where I took a swing at one such curveball, which
came in the form of a wedding speech. A few days before the wedding, the bride
contacted me and asked if I would be willing to do a speech after the ceremony,
as she and my friend, the groom, had someone on the bride’s side doing a speech
and they wanted someone on the groom’s side to do one also. I was not expecting
this and was completely unprepared, but accepted anyways. Panic started to set
in, but I had a chance to be a blessing to my friend and was determined to take
a shot at this simultaneously honoring and frightening opportunity.
I began my speech planning where most quests begin these
days, on the Internet. There I found many websites with tips on making a good
wedding speech. These tips were very helpful and I got some ideas on the
general format of a speech, but as I read more I came to the realization that I
couldn’t just mimic some speech off of the Internet. It needed to be my speech,
not someone else’s. With that conviction, I opened a Word document and started
to outline the speech. The opening and closing sections were fairly
straightforward; I would open by introducing myself and thanking everyone who
helped make the wedding happen, and I would close with a Scriptural blessing
followed by a toast. The body, however, went through multiple revisions over
the three days that I pondered the speech. Ideas came and went. Paragraphs were
written, rewritten and sometimes thrown out altogether. I originally had a few
jokes in my speech, but they just weren’t meshing with the more serious tone I was
developing, so they eventually were all dropped. The night before my departure I
was looking at the final draft of the speech. I wanted to do some more work on
it, but I was out of time, so I printed the speech and put it in my backpack.
With the busy schedule I had leading up to the wedding I knew that at this
point only slight revisions could now be made.
Sure enough, over the next two days I had almost no time to work on
the speech or even memorize it. I flew out to Chicago and got busy helping with
the wedding preparations. Working on the wedding arrangements occupied my days
and social events claimed my evenings and nights. On the day of the wedding I
took one last look at my sheet of paper. One sentence had been reworded but
that was the only revision I had been able to make. With time having run out, I
stuffed the sheet of paper into my suit pocket and departed for the wedding
venue.
The wedding ceremony itself was a mixed bag of emotions. On
one hand I was overjoyed and proud of my friend but there was also this feeling
of nervousness and dread hanging over me. The ceremony, glorious and beautiful,
came to a close and I got to see my friend officially become a husband.
Everyone then went downstairs to where the dinner was and we all took our seats
after a few minutes of standing around and socializing. Sitting in my seat I
pulled out my sheet of paper and read through my speech over and over again,
hoping to get a least part of it memorized before my time came. A little while
later the wedding DJ announced that the bride and groom would be making
speeches along with two of their friends, and that was my cue to head up to the
front. The bride and groom both made short speeches and then the bride’s cousin
delivered her speech. With the cousin’s speech done, the microphone was handed
off and all eyes were on me. I didn’t have my speech memorized, I could feel my
tongue already starting to stutter and a distinct sense of panic was coursing
through my entire body, but there was no turning back. My mouth opened, one
word followed another, and I gave my speech. I introduced myself, thanked those
involved in the wedding, talked about all the years I had known my friend and
how he had grown as a man, told the story of my last visit to see him and
seeing the relationship he had built with the woman who would become his bride,
congratulated the couple, blessed them, and then proposed a toast. Everyone
raised their glasses and drank, and then the applause started. The bride and
groom both hugged me and thanked me for the speech and then I returned to my
chair, nerves frayed beyond reason.
For much of the rest of the night I was fielding praise from
other wedding guests. There wasn’t anything particularly great about my speech
and my lack of oratory skills were clearly on display while I delivered it, but
it seemed everyone was in love with my performance. I couldn’t square my
perception of the speech with everyone else’s. In my mind I gave a mediocre
speech that had been hastily prepared and spoken with little skill. It seemed
everyone else had heard a moving speech spoken from the heart. The truth is
probably somewhere in-between. Maybe it was a good speech, or maybe everyone
was just being nice to me, but if it blessed my friend and his bride and
brought joy to those in attendance, then I guess that’s all that matters.
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